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I’ve dated a body builder before and they asked me to top them and it felt so alien to me. At times I do wonder if it’s a size thing because I’m short and skinny and the guys I’m generally attracted to are the direct opposite of me and a part of me feels strange topping. Photo: Jimi Photog / Flickr Joao, 26, gay, from Londonįor me it’s a dominance/submission play.
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I don’t get as much stimulation when I top. I’m lucky that my partner is a total top, so we’re a nice fit. The orgasms I experience as a bottom are really intense and I think that’s only possible when I bottom. I’m not a natural dominant in bed and that is generally the position for the top. So generally, while I could top, it’s a lot of pressure on me to maintain stamina and energy. Then I feel awkward, especially if they are really enjoying it. If I am fucking someone – even if I am enjoying myself – I’m awkward with positions or getting a good flow so I tend to then get soft. People always assume I’m a top as I’m told I have an above average-sized dick, but while I get hard and horny, I generally go soft pretty easily. So being a total bottom is just easier I’ve found, especially if you are a bit more submissive like I am, and it’s what I do better at.
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Whenever I have topped, it’s generally quite a task for me and I have to be really quite horny for it. I then had little experience as a top, so I was always wary of being a top and I didn’t want to be a disappointing one. I would probably say that I just stuck with the position I began my sex life with.